Wow, someone that does not think that we are crazy!

Thank you Michelle K for your love and support!

Briana Just gave me the rundown on your conversation.

It is nice to have a friend that does not have direct experience with our destination not reply with anything other than terror for our future.

I certainly appreciate everyone’s concern, but if I have to listen to one more person ask me if I watch ER I may barf :).

P.S. we do not watch much TV, and ER is a never for us, at least post Clooney ER that is.

ER is a TV show.

It is a drama.

How could it be a drama if the doctors did not get hurt?

Like someone is going to tune in week after week to see someone going about regular minutia?

Thank you for your support, I wish you all of the love in the world!

So are we joining a cult?

All I can say is "nah :)", but you will choose to believe what you want.

So are we not Christian?

I call myself a Christian (catholic), but some Christians will disagree. They should know that I am cool with that :)

A newsletter just came from the Institute; it contains an interview with one of the residents. She answers a lot of the questions that I have been asked lately. Check it out HERE

So a little bit about Meta.

She was my ride to the Institute the first time that I visited in June of 2005. About 4 hours before she picked me up I received an email from my birth mother (I was adopted at 8 days of age) wanting to know if I wanted to meet. I was soooooooo freaked out. I had written off any desire to meet her a long time ago as in my opinion she and I made a trade. I would let her live her life out free from me, and I got to live.

So here I was, alone in Newburgh, NY my co-workers had all gone home, and I had scheduled a 10 day retreat at this place that my friends had lived for 6 years and spoke very highly of it. I did not REALLY know what to expect. I knew that my ride was to show up at 3pm and that my birth mother (Kim) had just tossed a huge curveball my way. My emotions ran the gambit. I was scared, I was joyful, I was crying, I was laughing. I called my Mom, My wife, and anyone else that I could get on the phone for advice.

So the best way to tell the story is to consult the email archive. I sent this message to my board of directors (friends, family, etc) looking for advice:

-----Original Message-----
From: Matthew Douzart
Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2005 12:49 PM
Subject: FW: RE: Attempting to reach Matthew Douzart

WOW.

Please read down to get the full story.

I had no intention of ever making contact since I believe that the choice that she made 29 years ago entitles her to put this in the past. I have quite a bit of pondering to do while on vacation. Your thoughts and prayer will be appreciated.

Take care all!

Matt D

-----Original Message-----
From: Matthew Douzart
Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2005 1:42 PM
To: 'xxxxxxxxxxx@bellsouth.net'
Subject: RE: RE: Attempting to reach Matthew Douzart

Let me think about this and get back with you later.

I am going on vacation today returning 7/5/2005.I will have an answer then.

In the meantime, please give my best wishes to my birth mother. Please let her know that I was entrusted to two amazing people who should be proud of the job that they did raising me. I am positive that all four of us are in a better place today as a result of my adoption.

Please let her know that there is absolutely NO animosity in my heart for the decision that she made 28 years ago.

Take care,
Matt D

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxxxxxxxx@bellsouth.net
Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2005 1:31 PM
To: Matthew Douzart
Subject: RE: RE: Attempting to reach Matthew Douzart

Matthew, how would you feel about being put in contact with your birth mother? (Apologies that there isn't an easier way to do this.)

From: "Matthew Douzart"
Date: 2005/06/23 Thu PM 01:21:39 EDT
Subject: RE: RE: Attempting to reach Matthew Douzart

The one and only. No need to be easy. How can I help?

Take care,

Matt D

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxxxxxxxx@bellsouth.net
Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2005 11:13 AM
To: Matthew Douzart
Subject: Attempting to reach Matthew Douzart
Hello, I am attempting to contact Matthew Douzart from Metairie.

Is this email address valid? A reply will be appreciated.

Thanks,
Kim

Sooooooooo, needless to say I was shaken.

Later communication that day revealed that the Kim I was messaging was my birth mother. I had a lot of thinking to do.

Back to Meta.

Meta picked me up at the Marriot right on time. We loaded up my stuff and hit the road for Honesdale (90 minute trip). We had casual conversation mostly, but something inside me led me to speak to Meta about the adoption thing.

I was amazed to find out that she was adopted too! She was a little different than I was because she had a desire to find her birth parents, but had not been able to.

We chatted the rest of the way to Honesdale about the possibilities. She was just what the Dr. ordered for this hectic situation in my life.

When I got to the Institute I ate supper, and headed off to bed. I was so tired.

The next day I was reading in the tea lounge and there was one other person in the lounge, a woman a little older than my mother.

We began to speak to one another, and I again felt led to share the adoption thing with her. She was the second stranger that I discussed this personal information with, and she too was involved in adoption! She had given a child up for adoption 30 years ago…

Meta was my sign to show me what a great gift I was being offered, and this woman was there to show me what Kim was going through. That was a long story, but it is interesting to me at least.

If you were bored, there are lots of other web sites on the net. Enjoy them! Please don’t confuse my pragmatic sarcasm for anything other than it is…

Until next time,

Matt D